Never Not Myself

Would you want me when i'm not myself?...
When i'm someone else?

I was thinking about relationships the other day. Real relationships.

When you meet someone and you get along but you basically have almost nothing in common, is it okay to change? For some odd reason, I don't feel comfortable with that. I love a relationship where you can learn new things from each other mutually. I just have a problem of listening to comments like "you should do this and you should do that." I guess it basically comes down to yes, I would love to do that... I always wanted to... but don't tell me what I should or shouldn't do.

I was watching Penelope the other day. It's a great movie. I loved it. It had many different themes and such subtle touches of social satire that you couldn't help but relate to it. In Penelope's case, she just had to realize that she liked herself the way she was in order to break a curse. Her personal life and thoughts weren't in the way she looked. She had to take a deeper look inside her heart to realize that that's where her personal feeling, thoughts, and life dwelled. I think a better analogy is in the life of a celebrity. They are haunted by paps and you see what they are doing on magazine covers and who they are dating. But is that REALLY their personal life? I don't think it is. I don't know who Julia Roberts is or who Brad Pitt is. I don't know their thoughts or what their heart pursues. That's their personal life.

I think that's what happens when you first meet someone. You know that you get along but you really don't have any idea of what they do or what they think. And all you have are impressions.

So... I guess what i'm saying is that I like myself the way I am. And I have no problems of learning new things. But I don't want to become a different person just for someone to like me. I think I come with a fair share of warning labels... but I do come with a bunch of surprises too. I just never want to change because of someone. I want to change because I see the changes I need to make in myself. I want to be one of those people on the street that is basically another plain jane but you can tell that she's sure of herself.

I'm a far ways off from that. I've yet to start my life. I just wanted to get that stright.

I'm not changing for anyone. I'll change on my own time.