Day of...

I'm not sure what I am right now. The show starts in three and a half hours. Am I ready? Am I prepared? Am I nervous? Am I excited? Am I confused? (well, yes.)

I think i've hit the point where i'm on the edge of exhausted and delirious. So I guess that could count as a hybrid of ready, prepared, nervous, excited, and confused.

You spend hours and hours on choreography, coming up with meanings, themes, finding props, costumes, and cleaning. You put all of this time and energy and effort into show but only a small amount of this time is spent on what truly counts. Cause the parts that count come and go so quickly. Like the day that you had to learn how to do a lift and after so many times of trying and not succeeding, you come back a few days later and on the first try, you ace it. And it feels like you've done it like that all your life. Or the day that you felt defeated cause the piece was looking like a big jumbled mess. Then in one swoop of an hour the whole piece is basically finished.

And right now i'm missing those moments. I'm glad that we've come to the end, but i'm honestly looking back on the past few weeks and wishing that I hadn't looked over those little moments.