A woman who lives with chronic pain said to my mom the other day, "You can't sit around and wait for the storm to be over. You've got to learn how to dance in the rain." That's a perfect description of living with depression, or any chronic illness.
-Therese J. Borchard
I love that.
Yesterday, the universe took a huge piss on me. Huge. I realized that I try so hard to help people, or do things for people, and I don't really have to try. I actually LIKE doing it. I like getting cakes and cards for people's birthday. I like helping people who ask me questions about dance. I like helping someone up. All of which I did yesterday. But the world took no consideration on my sensitive heart.
By midday, my only thought was f*ck. I was trying not to cry. Really trying hard. Then I realized people suck. And then I spend time alone in a piano room banging keys and balling. And then you go home and roommate just makes you feel a lot better.
I felt so selfish yesterday. It was like I didn't want people to pity me cause I was having a bad day. I mean after all, there are starving children in the Sudan. So I tried to hide the anxiety and all the emotions running around in my insides but then it builds and builds and builds to the point that there's nowhere for it to go except to just explode out of you. And that's what it did.
So it rained on me yesterday. But thankfully I love to dance.
I tried my hardest, universe. I tried.
Yes, people may be starving in Sudan, or anywhere in the world. Friends and acquaintances will not pity you, if you talk about your bad day. They will feel for you, and try to help you through whatever is ailing you.
ReplyDeleteWe may not be able to help the starving children around the world, but if I can help you with a bad day, and you in turn help a friend in need, over and over, everyone in the world will have at least one better day.