We've been back for over a week now and things weren't the way we planned.
I can personally say that I was the only one not ecstatic about coming home. I knew what was waiting for me. NOTHING. And that was bad news cause I knew that NOTHING had to become SOMETHING. I needed to get a job. I had friends and a great summer, but now I had to face reality. JOBS. To those who are young (like myself) and looking for freedom, please weigh the circumstances. It's not as easy as it looks. Seriously. Unless you have some rich uncle somewhere in Switzerland or you're part of the Hilton clan, you're screwed.
The others have their own stories but they were all pretty excited to get back home-- either to boyfriends, friends, family-- they were all excited.
But high hopes and expectations are dangerous territory. I force myself not to tread that territory, but I fail. I'm a big dreamer. I can't help but over exaggerate the truth sometimes.
Sometimes, you have to keep your head out of the clouds and put your feet on the ground.
This is another reason that BOYFRIENDS are a BAD IDEA. Girls are emotional human beings. I really don't need another reason to stress. I'll stick to my little crushes. I'll tread the water but my heart really isn't into it. I keep saying to myself and to my friends,
"I HAVE PLANS MAN! I have plans! I don't know what they are yet... but I HAVE PLANS!"
No time for boys... nosiree. Not for me. Are they gonna pay the rent??
I Don't Think So...
OH! And what's up with guys wanting the girls to do all the chasing now? Did they stop growing balls? I mean, seriously. I guess i'm taking a reverse feminist view on it, but something has gone wrong. I wish I lived back when people courted. So romantic. There I go.. dreaming again...
So anyways... I face life. I'm done with fresno but dance is not through with me. I leave my life to a higher power and i'll take a hold of fate's hand.
This is the end of one part of my life and a beginning of another. Wish me luck!
Christina the Dreamer
7.25.2007
7.14.2007
He Said I Was Bold
I flew these past two weeks. It wasn't easy but I soared. I reached a destination that changed my life, my perspective, and my soul.
Sometimes you need to listen to music and sit still. You close your eyes and let your body breathe through the sounds, the tones, the voices, the moments of breath between words.
In my personal life I've been analyzing things. Most of the time, analyzing shouldn't occur. Things should be seen for what they are. Some moments shouldn't be taken so seriously or too loosely. Those moments are just who, what, where, or when. The WHY comes later.
I laid on the floor today and listened to a song. I didn't even really listen to it. I let it soak. I didn't analyze the lyrics or the chord progressions. I just bathed in the simplicity of what it was. I danced today in my own time. I danced today because my body talked to me. It said not to speak, not to think, not to analyze. You walk blindly through life- why not blindly let yourself move? Why can't we just feel? Why are we so afraid?
I can effortlessly let a song take me places. I can dance fiercely and I can make moves out of thin air.
Life is made from the moves you make. It's a dance. You feel it then you do it. You just do it. If you deeply feel it the way a song touches the places inside my heart to create a dance, then you don't analyze. There's only doing it or letting ht moment pass.
Yesterday, I made a move. I created a dance. I made a decision and let all the chips fall.
He said that I was bold.
Thank you.
I feel more bold than ever.
Sometimes you need to listen to music and sit still. You close your eyes and let your body breathe through the sounds, the tones, the voices, the moments of breath between words.
In my personal life I've been analyzing things. Most of the time, analyzing shouldn't occur. Things should be seen for what they are. Some moments shouldn't be taken so seriously or too loosely. Those moments are just who, what, where, or when. The WHY comes later.
I laid on the floor today and listened to a song. I didn't even really listen to it. I let it soak. I didn't analyze the lyrics or the chord progressions. I just bathed in the simplicity of what it was. I danced today in my own time. I danced today because my body talked to me. It said not to speak, not to think, not to analyze. You walk blindly through life- why not blindly let yourself move? Why can't we just feel? Why are we so afraid?
I can effortlessly let a song take me places. I can dance fiercely and I can make moves out of thin air.
Life is made from the moves you make. It's a dance. You feel it then you do it. You just do it. If you deeply feel it the way a song touches the places inside my heart to create a dance, then you don't analyze. There's only doing it or letting ht moment pass.
Yesterday, I made a move. I created a dance. I made a decision and let all the chips fall.
He said that I was bold.
Thank you.
I feel more bold than ever.
7.12.2007
I Don't Like Bad Moments
Hello cyber folk--
We are getting closer to the end. Tomorrow is the performance and I'm ready.
I've had so many incidents these past 2 weeks that could have potentially ruined this amazing experience. But I realize that I am the only one that can make this experience worthwhile for me. No matter how many times I've failed, no matter how many times i've felt discouraged, and no matter how many times i've danced intolerably, I came out of it and made the experience what it was. There were other people who were trying to make it bad, there were people getting frustrated, and people who brought their personal issues into the mix. I feel as if I finally get the concept that I make the moments into good ones or bad ones. The way my attitude reacts to a situation or moment is the way I will perceive that moments forever. And personally, I don't really like bad moments.
With my foot acting up again, I feel like a well deserved break is needed. Professional dancers don't even dance as much as we do unless they are machines. I'm coming to the point where exhaustion is overtaking my brain. I can function, but in a few days I will be laying in my bed watching movies and pigging out.
I don't have many profound words to say today. I feel that my body is more profound than ever. I've gained technique and i've learned ways to choreograph. But the more time I spend figuring out my own body as one blank canvas, the more I learn about myself. And that in itself is profound. When you watch dancers, you can tell the dancers who are wise and those who are still young. You watch Dawn and you know that she's a wise dancer. You look at Nick and you see wisdom. You see Aaron and you just don't expect those moves to come out of that tiny little body. But you see me and it looks like I have so much more to learn-- and i'm okay with that.
I look foward to being 35 and dancing. It'll be completely different dance than I'm dancing now, but the only difference will be wisdom.
We are getting closer to the end. Tomorrow is the performance and I'm ready.
I've had so many incidents these past 2 weeks that could have potentially ruined this amazing experience. But I realize that I am the only one that can make this experience worthwhile for me. No matter how many times I've failed, no matter how many times i've felt discouraged, and no matter how many times i've danced intolerably, I came out of it and made the experience what it was. There were other people who were trying to make it bad, there were people getting frustrated, and people who brought their personal issues into the mix. I feel as if I finally get the concept that I make the moments into good ones or bad ones. The way my attitude reacts to a situation or moment is the way I will perceive that moments forever. And personally, I don't really like bad moments.
With my foot acting up again, I feel like a well deserved break is needed. Professional dancers don't even dance as much as we do unless they are machines. I'm coming to the point where exhaustion is overtaking my brain. I can function, but in a few days I will be laying in my bed watching movies and pigging out.
I don't have many profound words to say today. I feel that my body is more profound than ever. I've gained technique and i've learned ways to choreograph. But the more time I spend figuring out my own body as one blank canvas, the more I learn about myself. And that in itself is profound. When you watch dancers, you can tell the dancers who are wise and those who are still young. You watch Dawn and you know that she's a wise dancer. You look at Nick and you see wisdom. You see Aaron and you just don't expect those moves to come out of that tiny little body. But you see me and it looks like I have so much more to learn-- and i'm okay with that.
I look foward to being 35 and dancing. It'll be completely different dance than I'm dancing now, but the only difference will be wisdom.
7.11.2007
Videos Galore!
Dancing in the Library
Bowling with Dancers
Another Blog
Another Blog Continued
Wednesday Morning
The I MISS LIST
Bowling with Dancers
Another Blog
Another Blog Continued
Wednesday Morning
The I MISS LIST
7.10.2007
fourdayupdate
Saturday: We had a full day of dancing which is rare. I don’t remember the last time I danced on a Saturday. It’s not sacred or anything. Just felt a little weird. It definitely threw my body clock for a weird spin. Later, Sarah and Gusta fell off the face of earth so Madge and I were sitting around in the dorm wondering what we could do. We didn’t want to do anything crazy and we had no car. We took out our packets that were given to us at the beginning of the program and we found that there was a student union with a BOWLING ALLEY in it! So we went bowling. It was fun!
Sunday: FRISCO! Besides the fact that we got lost once and it took us a good 4 hours to get there, frisco was beautiful and spectacular. The weather was perfect. The city was perfect. The day was perfect. We parked at fisherman’s wharf and took a cable car to union square where we spent the majority of the day. My favorite part was when I found a little music store upstairs through some weird door and it was sheet music heaven! They had everything. I bought the Wild Party. I know... I’m bad. BUT I HAD TO! Anyways, we took the cable car back up, but we stopped once in Chinatown. That place is awesome too. 59 cent boba. Yum. Then we went back to the wharf, did some last minute shopping, and then went to go pick up Dawn in Castro. I LOVE CASTRO! If I could, I would live there. It’s gay town and ya’ll know how much I love the gays! People are lovers there. I love it. Dawn got us back on the freeway. I’m not sure how many U-turns we took, but we took a lot of them. The ride home was so much fun for me. I’m not sure if it was for anyone else but we got to pick apart Dawn’s brain and also show the side of us that we don’t show during dance class. I had too much energy and Madge was getting mad at me. I was playing all my favorite Janet songs off my ipod to keep everyone awake and I was singing at the top of my lungs. It was all for Gusta. She had a long drive home and I knew my job was to keep her awake. Then the 99 came to a complete stop at around 10:15 at night. That was definitely interesting. So we got back at about 11:15. YAY!
Monday: Just another dance day. The days are going by faster. We learned the basics of break dancing today. It was pretty insane. I need some more practice. And the biggest news yet—NICK knows my name now! He said it in class today. I was so happy. Can I just say that? Cause I’m pretty quiet. I don’t really mosey in with the in-crowd. So the fact that he knows my name is pretty amazing.
Today: It’s getting closer and closer to our performance day and they are working us hard. I had a problem with my stomach this morning so I’ve been holding off on certain foods. My bad foot also started acting up today. It gave me a scare but I’m still dancing on it. So hopefully I’ll be okay the rest of the week. Dawn taught her last technique class today. Made me super sad. I love her classes. Aaron has tomorrow and Nick has Thursday. Aaron and Dawn leave Friday after the performance which is SUPER sad. They’ve made the experience so memorable.
I think the struggle now is to keep going. We know the steps, we know where to go, we know what we have to do. It’s now up to us to make it look good, to dance it to our full potential, and to not half-ass it.
Whew… that was a lot.
This week is gonna go by fast. I feel it. I’m going to make the most of it. Starting with a shower and a good sleep. Peace out homies!
ckayyyy
Sunday: FRISCO! Besides the fact that we got lost once and it took us a good 4 hours to get there, frisco was beautiful and spectacular. The weather was perfect. The city was perfect. The day was perfect. We parked at fisherman’s wharf and took a cable car to union square where we spent the majority of the day. My favorite part was when I found a little music store upstairs through some weird door and it was sheet music heaven! They had everything. I bought the Wild Party. I know... I’m bad. BUT I HAD TO! Anyways, we took the cable car back up, but we stopped once in Chinatown. That place is awesome too. 59 cent boba. Yum. Then we went back to the wharf, did some last minute shopping, and then went to go pick up Dawn in Castro. I LOVE CASTRO! If I could, I would live there. It’s gay town and ya’ll know how much I love the gays! People are lovers there. I love it. Dawn got us back on the freeway. I’m not sure how many U-turns we took, but we took a lot of them. The ride home was so much fun for me. I’m not sure if it was for anyone else but we got to pick apart Dawn’s brain and also show the side of us that we don’t show during dance class. I had too much energy and Madge was getting mad at me. I was playing all my favorite Janet songs off my ipod to keep everyone awake and I was singing at the top of my lungs. It was all for Gusta. She had a long drive home and I knew my job was to keep her awake. Then the 99 came to a complete stop at around 10:15 at night. That was definitely interesting. So we got back at about 11:15. YAY!
Monday: Just another dance day. The days are going by faster. We learned the basics of break dancing today. It was pretty insane. I need some more practice. And the biggest news yet—NICK knows my name now! He said it in class today. I was so happy. Can I just say that? Cause I’m pretty quiet. I don’t really mosey in with the in-crowd. So the fact that he knows my name is pretty amazing.
Today: It’s getting closer and closer to our performance day and they are working us hard. I had a problem with my stomach this morning so I’ve been holding off on certain foods. My bad foot also started acting up today. It gave me a scare but I’m still dancing on it. So hopefully I’ll be okay the rest of the week. Dawn taught her last technique class today. Made me super sad. I love her classes. Aaron has tomorrow and Nick has Thursday. Aaron and Dawn leave Friday after the performance which is SUPER sad. They’ve made the experience so memorable.
I think the struggle now is to keep going. We know the steps, we know where to go, we know what we have to do. It’s now up to us to make it look good, to dance it to our full potential, and to not half-ass it.
Whew… that was a lot.
This week is gonna go by fast. I feel it. I’m going to make the most of it. Starting with a shower and a good sleep. Peace out homies!
ckayyyy
7.07.2007
And So The Week Ends...
It doesn't feel like a saturday today. I can't believe we only have a few days left to dance. Dawn taught the technique class this morning but you should have seen everybody. We all had bags under our eyes, we were all sleeping during yoga class, and we all looked like we needed a break. First off, at the end of yoga class Lorelai who is the instructor, lead us into a deep relaxation period of a just about 6-10 minutes where you lay completely still. Today you heard bouts of snoring all around the room. I thought it was pretty funny but I admit I did fall asleep. But I didn't snore. After that class we had technique and thank GOD for Dawn. She gave us a somewhat easy routine that was slow and relaxing but also sensual.
We had an easy day today. The biggest surprise was composition class. Nick was teaching about musicality in dance. When music comes on, what moves you? Do you move to the beat, or the words, or neither?
I say this was a surprise because in my journal last night, I had written that I wanted to create a dance like a song. I wanted to have the dynamics you'd find in a song to be melted together in dance form.
So we made a circle and he put on different songs from different genres and whatever and whenever we felt like something was moving us, you'd go in the circle and do your thing. It was all improv. Rufus Wainwright came on and I didn't feel anything. A few more songs... nothing. I am a big music person when it comes to dance. If I don't have the right song, I don't feel it as much in my body. I think it's the michael jackson, gloria estefan, and irene cara type of music that I grew up on that really installed this hesitance or picky-ness in dance music. But then a hip hop song came on and of course the 4 san marcos girls joined in and got the party started. Then a gwen stefani song came on after and I just started jumping. Just jumping. I felt like jumping so I did and I guess I sort of started a moving mosh pit after nick fell in it with me. So that was pretty cool.
But what I learned about myself and about the type of musicality I look for in dance is not all uncommon. As a musician I look for good music with amazing lyrics-- it has to be unique and in a league of its own for me to really LOVE music. As a dancer, I look for the different sounds that I can make choreography to. If a piano has a certain riff, I am attracted to it because I'm not dancing to the sound of the voice singing, but to something in the background.
I hope that makes sense.
When I was younger, I would choreograph a dance to Footloose and have cute little movements and throw a cartwheel in there. I now have to have meaning behind movements. A song is a song, but when choosing a reason and a purpose to make a dance, I want to be able to mix in strong movements and strong meanings.
Anyways, i'm going to veg out tonight. I'm ready to take a shower and maybe start choreographing something. But I must say that it's nice to be alone for once. I have nothing against the girls. I love them with all my heart. But I don't think I have ever missed BOYS so much in my life. We have 3 guys in our class and all of them are GAY. They are precious, but I miss my guy friends. I really do. No joke. The hormones are getting to be too much for me. I also miss my roommate.
Tomorrow is Frisco day! I'm stoked. we're leaving at 7 and taking a drive. I think Dawn is there right now so she might hitch a ride back with us. Which means it'll be a little crowded but her company will make it all worth it. She's amazing. And any time to spend with her and pick apart her mind will be an amazing experience.
I'll be sure to take pictures.
Mucho Love-o
Ck
We had an easy day today. The biggest surprise was composition class. Nick was teaching about musicality in dance. When music comes on, what moves you? Do you move to the beat, or the words, or neither?
I say this was a surprise because in my journal last night, I had written that I wanted to create a dance like a song. I wanted to have the dynamics you'd find in a song to be melted together in dance form.
So we made a circle and he put on different songs from different genres and whatever and whenever we felt like something was moving us, you'd go in the circle and do your thing. It was all improv. Rufus Wainwright came on and I didn't feel anything. A few more songs... nothing. I am a big music person when it comes to dance. If I don't have the right song, I don't feel it as much in my body. I think it's the michael jackson, gloria estefan, and irene cara type of music that I grew up on that really installed this hesitance or picky-ness in dance music. But then a hip hop song came on and of course the 4 san marcos girls joined in and got the party started. Then a gwen stefani song came on after and I just started jumping. Just jumping. I felt like jumping so I did and I guess I sort of started a moving mosh pit after nick fell in it with me. So that was pretty cool.
But what I learned about myself and about the type of musicality I look for in dance is not all uncommon. As a musician I look for good music with amazing lyrics-- it has to be unique and in a league of its own for me to really LOVE music. As a dancer, I look for the different sounds that I can make choreography to. If a piano has a certain riff, I am attracted to it because I'm not dancing to the sound of the voice singing, but to something in the background.
I hope that makes sense.
When I was younger, I would choreograph a dance to Footloose and have cute little movements and throw a cartwheel in there. I now have to have meaning behind movements. A song is a song, but when choosing a reason and a purpose to make a dance, I want to be able to mix in strong movements and strong meanings.
Anyways, i'm going to veg out tonight. I'm ready to take a shower and maybe start choreographing something. But I must say that it's nice to be alone for once. I have nothing against the girls. I love them with all my heart. But I don't think I have ever missed BOYS so much in my life. We have 3 guys in our class and all of them are GAY. They are precious, but I miss my guy friends. I really do. No joke. The hormones are getting to be too much for me. I also miss my roommate.
Tomorrow is Frisco day! I'm stoked. we're leaving at 7 and taking a drive. I think Dawn is there right now so she might hitch a ride back with us. Which means it'll be a little crowded but her company will make it all worth it. She's amazing. And any time to spend with her and pick apart her mind will be an amazing experience.
I'll be sure to take pictures.
Mucho Love-o
Ck
7.06.2007
Fry Day-- Get it?
I don't think I can write much today. Yesterday is still ringing in my mind. Nothing beats yesterday's experience. So I made 2 video blogs today in case I got stuck with my writing.
One thing I did discuss with the girls today was the different style between Mia and Nicholas Leichter. Nick and Mia have 2 completely different styles. As a dancer, I connected with Mia. You look in her eyes and she looks right back at you and looks straight into your heart. Her choreography reflects that freedom or hippie-dom that I love. She even said that she wants to start a Mia Academy with a whole bunch of hippies roaming around. Nick is different. You look at him and he expects you to give him what he wants.
If I were ready to move on to bigger and better things as a dancer, I would really have to do my research of who I want to work with. What is MY style? Which choreographers could I work with that would help benefit me and would also benefit them?
It's good i'm getting the experience now with Nick because I know that it's just not my thing. I love dancing to his style, and dancing his repertory. I just wouldn't want to do it for a living.
Note to self: check out dance companies in Europe. Everyone has been suggesting them.
Here are my video blogs:
One thing I did discuss with the girls today was the different style between Mia and Nicholas Leichter. Nick and Mia have 2 completely different styles. As a dancer, I connected with Mia. You look in her eyes and she looks right back at you and looks straight into your heart. Her choreography reflects that freedom or hippie-dom that I love. She even said that she wants to start a Mia Academy with a whole bunch of hippies roaming around. Nick is different. You look at him and he expects you to give him what he wants.
If I were ready to move on to bigger and better things as a dancer, I would really have to do my research of who I want to work with. What is MY style? Which choreographers could I work with that would help benefit me and would also benefit them?
It's good i'm getting the experience now with Nick because I know that it's just not my thing. I love dancing to his style, and dancing his repertory. I just wouldn't want to do it for a living.
Note to self: check out dance companies in Europe. Everyone has been suggesting them.
Here are my video blogs:
7.05.2007
Mia Michaels
So today was the most amazing day. I have some pictures, a video blog, and some words to leave with.
I can't explain what happened to me today. Words can't be used. You can't think about it. You can't vocalize any part of the experience. I can tell you what happened but I can't tell you what happened to me. Dance is a language. It's a feeling. You can't think about it or else it becomes unnatural. It becomes unraw and unreal.
Mia Michaels is tough. Her choreography is not easy. But it's real. It's not someone telling you this is where your arm goes. She tells you that this is the movement and wherever your arms lands is because the movement of the dance brought it there.
Technique class kicked my butt. I will be a whole lot more sore tomorrow morning than the first day. But this soreness-- I don't want it to leave. It'll remind me of how tough it is to choose this profession and how tough you have to be to survive. It's not easy. It's actually one of the most physical and mental experiences that you will ever come across.
Can I just say that her assistant-- Katie-- is one FIERCE dancer. I loved her. She's the girl with curly hair int he pictures. FYI.
Her composition class was more of a repratory class because she taught us a routine that she taught to the people who got a call back on So You Think You Can Dance. 180 dancers were done with the competition after this piece. I was doing fine with it. I was focused. Until half way my brain started to think; to dwell. It started freaking out on me. She suddenly stopped and told the class "STAY WITH ME. YOU'RE WASTING MY TIME IF YOU DON'T STAY WITH ME." I got my s**t together and I pushed myself to my limit.
By the end of the class she just let us imrpov whatever we were feeling and people had to step out because they didn't know what was going on. The San Marcos crew knew all thanks to Karen. She made us freeze and started up music again and came to us individually and touched a part of our bodies and we had to react to it. It's called contact improv. I CONTACT IMPROV-ED WITH MIA MICHAELS!
Everyone was in it. It was emotional because all you can feel is yourself letting go. Just letting go of your mind, your life, your world and just freeing yourself to be embraced by the dance. Something like that can't be choreographed. She sat in the middle of all of us. I was crying at this point. She sat there and everyone was dancing all around her. I can't really paint the picture for you because I just remember being so overwhelmed. Mia was crying. She explained later that it was the first time she had ever done that with any group. WE WERE HER FIRST.
I wish we could have kept her around, but she's busy. She hugged us all. She kissed us. She embraced us and held our hands. It was such a freeing experience and I wish you all could have shared it with me.
I left giving her a hug and told her "thank you so much, you are my inspiration." She gives the best hugs. They're the kind that you know that she has faith that dancers like us have a place in her world--her heart.
And most important lesson that I learned from her:
Our imperfections make us WHO WE ARE. The mistakes we make in the studio, on stage, while performing-- they make us REAL. We are human. And to dance like a human, that is what connects us all. I am imperfect. And I love it.
Enjoy the rest of the day.
I plan on dancing like that for the next week and a half.
Love Ck the DANCER
xoxo
I can't explain what happened to me today. Words can't be used. You can't think about it. You can't vocalize any part of the experience. I can tell you what happened but I can't tell you what happened to me. Dance is a language. It's a feeling. You can't think about it or else it becomes unnatural. It becomes unraw and unreal.
Mia Michaels is tough. Her choreography is not easy. But it's real. It's not someone telling you this is where your arm goes. She tells you that this is the movement and wherever your arms lands is because the movement of the dance brought it there.
Technique class kicked my butt. I will be a whole lot more sore tomorrow morning than the first day. But this soreness-- I don't want it to leave. It'll remind me of how tough it is to choose this profession and how tough you have to be to survive. It's not easy. It's actually one of the most physical and mental experiences that you will ever come across.
Can I just say that her assistant-- Katie-- is one FIERCE dancer. I loved her. She's the girl with curly hair int he pictures. FYI.
Her composition class was more of a repratory class because she taught us a routine that she taught to the people who got a call back on So You Think You Can Dance. 180 dancers were done with the competition after this piece. I was doing fine with it. I was focused. Until half way my brain started to think; to dwell. It started freaking out on me. She suddenly stopped and told the class "STAY WITH ME. YOU'RE WASTING MY TIME IF YOU DON'T STAY WITH ME." I got my s**t together and I pushed myself to my limit.
By the end of the class she just let us imrpov whatever we were feeling and people had to step out because they didn't know what was going on. The San Marcos crew knew all thanks to Karen. She made us freeze and started up music again and came to us individually and touched a part of our bodies and we had to react to it. It's called contact improv. I CONTACT IMPROV-ED WITH MIA MICHAELS!
Everyone was in it. It was emotional because all you can feel is yourself letting go. Just letting go of your mind, your life, your world and just freeing yourself to be embraced by the dance. Something like that can't be choreographed. She sat in the middle of all of us. I was crying at this point. She sat there and everyone was dancing all around her. I can't really paint the picture for you because I just remember being so overwhelmed. Mia was crying. She explained later that it was the first time she had ever done that with any group. WE WERE HER FIRST.
I wish we could have kept her around, but she's busy. She hugged us all. She kissed us. She embraced us and held our hands. It was such a freeing experience and I wish you all could have shared it with me.
I left giving her a hug and told her "thank you so much, you are my inspiration." She gives the best hugs. They're the kind that you know that she has faith that dancers like us have a place in her world--her heart.
And most important lesson that I learned from her:
Our imperfections make us WHO WE ARE. The mistakes we make in the studio, on stage, while performing-- they make us REAL. We are human. And to dance like a human, that is what connects us all. I am imperfect. And I love it.
Enjoy the rest of the day.
I plan on dancing like that for the next week and a half.
Love Ck the DANCER
xoxo
7.04.2007
Video Blogssss
Today was tough. Tough in comparison to the past 2 days. But here are some video blogs...
7.03.2007
I wish I could think of something so incredibly profound to say today but my brain is still in a dance state and doesn't feel like leaving it.
I can't get any internet on my computer in the dorm room so i'm using the computer lab in the business building. I also have video blogs that I want to post but I can't because they're on my computer in the dorms. This morning at about 6:30 in the morning, I made a blog about how much pain I was in. Let me just paint a picture for you.
They basically put us through hell the first day. It was dance boot camp. I think I went to bed around 9 or 9:30 and didn't wake up until the alarm rang at 6:00. Even then, I didn't wake up till 6:20. I have the top bunk which is now one of the most idiotic moves I could have ever done. I wake up not being able to move my arms at all-- they are stiff. My ass hurt like someone had been beating it up all night. And then my legs were jello. My knee was about the size of a baseball and my shoulder had a burning sensation in it. I floor burned the top of my foot so it was stinging me and on top of all that, my eyes DID NOT want to open.
Now the problem wasn't that I was hurting. It was how I was going to get off my bed. I obviously got out of bed, but it wasn't easy. It involved a desk, a chair, and sarah sitting laughing at me. But nevertheless, the pain slowly faded after yoga and deep concentration on Dawn's awesome techinque class today. When you have a lot of fun dancing, you tend to forget that every part of your body is screaming "OUCH!" except for your brain. The brain is almighty. It can ignore your pain and say "WOW! this is a crap load of fun!"
I'm glad i'm sore. It's my own way of waking up parts of my body that have been asleep for a while. And some I didn't even know exisisted.
I do have another story for you and ya'll might think it's a little gross for me to say but we have been taking POOPS like none other! Thank GOD I brought the febreeze spray because that bathroom has no fan!
I had taken another video blog yesterday and it was a tour of our dorms... and I swear I will post all of these some time this week. But at the end I had said something on the lines of.."we're safe and we plan on dancing the crap out of our bodies." I really didn't mean that literally.. but last night gusta watched and said.."pun intended?" and we couldn't help but laugh extremely long and hard. And laughing when you're sore is even funnier because you don't want to laugh but you can't help it.
Oh man, good times.
It's hot. And i'm hungry. No use passing out. LETS EAT!
Till tomorrow.
Much Love xoxox
I can't get any internet on my computer in the dorm room so i'm using the computer lab in the business building. I also have video blogs that I want to post but I can't because they're on my computer in the dorms. This morning at about 6:30 in the morning, I made a blog about how much pain I was in. Let me just paint a picture for you.
They basically put us through hell the first day. It was dance boot camp. I think I went to bed around 9 or 9:30 and didn't wake up until the alarm rang at 6:00. Even then, I didn't wake up till 6:20. I have the top bunk which is now one of the most idiotic moves I could have ever done. I wake up not being able to move my arms at all-- they are stiff. My ass hurt like someone had been beating it up all night. And then my legs were jello. My knee was about the size of a baseball and my shoulder had a burning sensation in it. I floor burned the top of my foot so it was stinging me and on top of all that, my eyes DID NOT want to open.
Now the problem wasn't that I was hurting. It was how I was going to get off my bed. I obviously got out of bed, but it wasn't easy. It involved a desk, a chair, and sarah sitting laughing at me. But nevertheless, the pain slowly faded after yoga and deep concentration on Dawn's awesome techinque class today. When you have a lot of fun dancing, you tend to forget that every part of your body is screaming "OUCH!" except for your brain. The brain is almighty. It can ignore your pain and say "WOW! this is a crap load of fun!"
I'm glad i'm sore. It's my own way of waking up parts of my body that have been asleep for a while. And some I didn't even know exisisted.
I do have another story for you and ya'll might think it's a little gross for me to say but we have been taking POOPS like none other! Thank GOD I brought the febreeze spray because that bathroom has no fan!
I had taken another video blog yesterday and it was a tour of our dorms... and I swear I will post all of these some time this week. But at the end I had said something on the lines of.."we're safe and we plan on dancing the crap out of our bodies." I really didn't mean that literally.. but last night gusta watched and said.."pun intended?" and we couldn't help but laugh extremely long and hard. And laughing when you're sore is even funnier because you don't want to laugh but you can't help it.
Oh man, good times.
It's hot. And i'm hungry. No use passing out. LETS EAT!
Till tomorrow.
Much Love xoxox
7.02.2007
Braverisms
You get to a point where you realize that life is all about the risks you take. It's courage, bravery, and heroism in your own special way. A way that fits you and makes you who you are.
The four girls here in Fresno are taking a risk as of right now. Dancing our hearts out for nobody but us. We are here to learn and to soak in knowledge about our bodies and our minds that we are not yet aware of. We're here to discover new experiences and people. We are NOT here to compete.
San Marcos usually has a dance class of about 15 dancers. Today, we had 41 dancers-- 38 girls and 3 boys. Not only was it a shock for me, but I think for the other girls, it was hard to keep our minds straight. How do we see the teacher? How do you get your questions answered? How do you get someone to tell you if you're doing it right?
I'm proud of myself today.
My mom can agree with me on this one-- I am a perfectionist when it comes to these things. Specific things aggravate me to the point of tears. But today I kept my feet going. I blocked out the world, left it at the door, and stepped into a new world where only dance mattered. That's why i'm here. I'm here to become a better dancer. To show myself that I can survive this industry, the choreographers, and the people.
We were talking about the thin line between bravery and stupidity last night before we went to bed. Stupidty is sometimes mistaken for bravery and vise versa sometimes. You can think you're courageous by taking a risk. But to think of the consequences is where the difference lies. If you think about the consequences of what risk you are taking but also tally out the amazing things that will come out of it, you're being brave. To think too much is not bravery, though. Thinking to much is the thin line. That's being a coward.
I've been thinking things a little too hard lately.
But I think you can agree that the four girls here in fresno are taking a smart risk. Putting our bodies in the line of fire, being in an atmosphere that we aren't used to, and trying something not many people have the guts to try is pretty brave if you ask me.
My heart is fierce and WHEN I survive this, I will not only be 20 pounds lighter, but i'll be more brave than EVER!
The four girls here in Fresno are taking a risk as of right now. Dancing our hearts out for nobody but us. We are here to learn and to soak in knowledge about our bodies and our minds that we are not yet aware of. We're here to discover new experiences and people. We are NOT here to compete.
San Marcos usually has a dance class of about 15 dancers. Today, we had 41 dancers-- 38 girls and 3 boys. Not only was it a shock for me, but I think for the other girls, it was hard to keep our minds straight. How do we see the teacher? How do you get your questions answered? How do you get someone to tell you if you're doing it right?
I'm proud of myself today.
My mom can agree with me on this one-- I am a perfectionist when it comes to these things. Specific things aggravate me to the point of tears. But today I kept my feet going. I blocked out the world, left it at the door, and stepped into a new world where only dance mattered. That's why i'm here. I'm here to become a better dancer. To show myself that I can survive this industry, the choreographers, and the people.
We were talking about the thin line between bravery and stupidity last night before we went to bed. Stupidty is sometimes mistaken for bravery and vise versa sometimes. You can think you're courageous by taking a risk. But to think of the consequences is where the difference lies. If you think about the consequences of what risk you are taking but also tally out the amazing things that will come out of it, you're being brave. To think too much is not bravery, though. Thinking to much is the thin line. That's being a coward.
I've been thinking things a little too hard lately.
But I think you can agree that the four girls here in fresno are taking a smart risk. Putting our bodies in the line of fire, being in an atmosphere that we aren't used to, and trying something not many people have the guts to try is pretty brave if you ask me.
My heart is fierce and WHEN I survive this, I will not only be 20 pounds lighter, but i'll be more brave than EVER!
7.01.2007
Orientating
Oh what a wonderful day!
Beside the fact I got barely any sleep last night, today has turned out beautiful. We are all sharing a dorm together. Or as we would like to call it... SUITE. We went shopping and packed up our stuff then headed off to our adventure. Gusta died my hair once we got to the dorms today. It's now a deep brown burgandy! Daniel Leichter and his company are amazing. We saw them tonight. The dance to the Stevie Wonder music was amazing. Lorelai, our course coordinator, is so sweet. She is the CSU Sacramento Dance professor. That's why half of the 41 students are from CSU Sac. We represent So Cal all the way. And we're proud of it.
I finally found internet at the library and after this, i'm going to go take a shower and hit the sack.
Here are some pics. ENJOY!
OH LOVE! ANON!
Beside the fact I got barely any sleep last night, today has turned out beautiful. We are all sharing a dorm together. Or as we would like to call it... SUITE. We went shopping and packed up our stuff then headed off to our adventure. Gusta died my hair once we got to the dorms today. It's now a deep brown burgandy! Daniel Leichter and his company are amazing. We saw them tonight. The dance to the Stevie Wonder music was amazing. Lorelai, our course coordinator, is so sweet. She is the CSU Sacramento Dance professor. That's why half of the 41 students are from CSU Sac. We represent So Cal all the way. And we're proud of it.
I finally found internet at the library and after this, i'm going to go take a shower and hit the sack.
Here are some pics. ENJOY!
OH LOVE! ANON!
Early Morning Babble
I don't know what I'm doing. I was sort of prepared for this though. I mean, it always happens to me. I end up waking up super early in the morning and not being able to go back to sleep once I realize that I'm on the floor of someone's apartment with someone next to me, a fly flying around me, and not a hint of cool air touching my skin.
Picture me in a corner of a dining room with my laptop in front of me, a water bottle, a notebook and pen next to me, cell phone for the time, and with my earphones connected to my itunes.
Since I'm typing here anyways, I'll just keep writing. It seems like it's something I like to do so I'll just keep merrily rolling along.
First thought: May I be the first to tell you-- WELCOME TO JULY! Let's make it the best July ever!
Next thought: I love these girls. I couldn't imagine a better group to take this trip with.
But I swear. If I don't get some private time these next few weeks, I might have more than a few pimples on my face. And don't get me wrong. None of these girls get on my bad side. I'm just an odd person. I like being alone. To rest inside my head for a little time makes me more relaxed.
This is when being underage comes in handy. The girls will go to a bar and i'll be left to fend for myself. At first i'll feel a little neglected but then the neglect will soon turn into excitement when I realize what privilege has been bestowed upon me.
Third Thought: Ratatat just came on and I feel like dancing. But everyone is still asleep.
Fourth Thought: What's for breakfast?! I want Ihop... I don't know about you but I could use a stack of pancakes right now.
Till next time!
or as Shakespeare would say,
ANON! My Love, ANON!
Picture me in a corner of a dining room with my laptop in front of me, a water bottle, a notebook and pen next to me, cell phone for the time, and with my earphones connected to my itunes.
Since I'm typing here anyways, I'll just keep writing. It seems like it's something I like to do so I'll just keep merrily rolling along.
First thought: May I be the first to tell you-- WELCOME TO JULY! Let's make it the best July ever!
Next thought: I love these girls. I couldn't imagine a better group to take this trip with.
But I swear. If I don't get some private time these next few weeks, I might have more than a few pimples on my face. And don't get me wrong. None of these girls get on my bad side. I'm just an odd person. I like being alone. To rest inside my head for a little time makes me more relaxed.
This is when being underage comes in handy. The girls will go to a bar and i'll be left to fend for myself. At first i'll feel a little neglected but then the neglect will soon turn into excitement when I realize what privilege has been bestowed upon me.
Third Thought: Ratatat just came on and I feel like dancing. But everyone is still asleep.
Fourth Thought: What's for breakfast?! I want Ihop... I don't know about you but I could use a stack of pancakes right now.
Till next time!
or as Shakespeare would say,
ANON! My Love, ANON!
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About Me
- I am Christina.
- The day my mother gave me wings was the day I started learning how to fly. I'm now realizing that it takes a lifetime to learn how to soar. This is my journey. Well, a part of it.