If You Want Me To- Ginny Owens

The pathway is broken and the signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why you brought me here
But just because you love me the way that you do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If you want me to

Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise
You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials
Bring me closer to you
Then I will go through fire if you want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But you never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone
Yeah oooh oh.

So when the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear you answer my cries for help
I'll remember the sufferin' your love put you through
And I will go through the valley
If you want me to.

Wha Happun?

I'm having a hard time getting back into the groove this semester.
I used to be so excited?
What happened?

I need a movie.

The Complicated Ones

I'm tired. I've been explaining myself today as if I am in a state of post trip blues and pre semester stress.

Sometimes I fear my inability to transition from one part of life to another takes its toll. The fact that I get no time to make a slow fade in and out from one thing to another makes me feel like i'm in a slow motion car crash. A head on collision with an amazing winter break and the reality of what most of my life consists of which in fact is school and work.

I'm feeling a sense of heart ache and the tightening of the knots in my stomach. I feel lost and not knowing what i'm doing. Some people have it so easy. They know what they want, they go get it, they succeed with a few little hiccups here and there. Altogether, they are the lucky ones. And for most of my life i've felt like I was one of those lucky ones. I'm starting to learn that I don't work that way. Never have, never will.

I'm one of the complicated ones. The ones with the dreams that rarely ever come true. The ones with all the patience to keep waiting for something that never happens. The ones who feel so small in the world but believes there is something bigger, something huge. I'm one of the ones who creates disaster without meaning to and who has a servants heart but is waiting for good fortune to shine on them. I'm one of those people. The ones who, when recieves a moment of joy, savors it with every inch of their heart and soul because they don't know when another moment like that will come around again. The ones with a map of life without knowing which route to take. The ones who people tell "do something about it!" but had thought they are already had been taking action.

This winter break has been unlike any winter break I have ever experienced. I wish my life would be that actively special all the time.

Off I go. Head on collision with reality. Once I lay my head on my pillow tonight that's it. That's the end of an amazing memory. Now, all I can do is remember and hope for more.

Time to Quote

One of my favorite movies is Elizabethtown. I'm watching it right now. My favorite movie to quote. The bold quotes are my favorites!

"I'm impossible to forget, but I'm hard to remember. " [I know how that feels.]

"Trust me. Everybody is less mysterious than they think they are. "

"I'm one of a kind."

"I think I've been asleep most of my life."

"Men see things in a box, and women see them in a round room."

"Some music needs air. Roll down your window."

"To have never taken a solitary road trip across country? I mean everybody's got to take a road trip, at least once in their lives. Just you and some music. "

"60B!"

" I want you to get into the deep beautiful melancholy of everything that's happened. "

" It takes time to be funny. It takes time to extract joy from life. "

"I'm walking out the door... in last night's clothes. "

"Welcome to the annual meeting of people who annually meet, and we'll see ya'll next year. "

"Sadness is easier because its surrender. I say make time to dance alone with one hand waving free. "

"So you failed. Alright you really failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You think I care about that? I do understand. You wanna be really great? Then have the courage to fail big and stick around. Make them wonder why you're still smiling. "

"In that moment, I knew success, not greatness, was the only god the world served. "

"I'm going to miss your lips. And everything attached to them. "

"You know, You're always trying to break up with me, and we're not even together. "

"If it wasn't this... it'd be something else. "

"Drew Baylor: And who says we have to listen to 'them'?
Claire Colburn: *They* do! "

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the life of a single 21 year old home alone after a long bizare day... who needs wine glasses?

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I made a cover for my notebook yesterday. Im diggin it.

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i want this oh so bad!

Here's The Eye Video

Pretty Big.

I feel as if the world is spinning while i'm standing still. I'm sort of waiting to catch up but i'm not quite there yet. The feeling I have right now is the kind of feeling you get when you've spun around with your forehead to a baseball bat. I'm trying to look things straight on but they are still spinning and tilting and I have to wait for the world to slow down.

I admit, this break has been the best break I have ever had. Unforgettable, actually.

My life isn't amazing and my life isn't terrible. My life is pretty normal. When something is unforgettable in my life, it means its something that will stay in my memory forever.

That's pretty big.

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This place is so awesome that i bought a sweatshirt!

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It's me! Scorpios unite!

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Snow behind, red dirt in front. God is a true artist.

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what my heart looks like.

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i cant explain how much i love sedona! You'll be with me next time... No more 3x5s.

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who wants to come with?

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barnesing it up!

New Additions

Babies always make blogs cuter. You just want to release a huge "AWWWW...." don't you?

Her name is Kalea (Kuh-Lay-Uh). The newest addition to the Tokunaga family. They've been our family friends forever and i've spent most of my Christmases with them and their family. I think I was 6 when they first met me. It's 15 years later and now the house is bursting with new little ones such as Kalea.

I think she's my favorite. SO CUTE!

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17 degrees outside. Drinking hot chocolate.

The Story of THE PATCH!

I was going to wait until I posted the video but apparently people are really curious as to why I have a huge patch on my face in some of my pictures...

Here's the story. The full story.

Somewhere closer to the beginning of the second half of the Future of Forestry Christmas Tour we had to drive from Simi Valley to Surprise, AZ. However, it took us 4 hours to get from Simi Valley just to Fontana which usually should only take maybe 2 hours tops. So you could imagine what kind of boredom we were feeling. So somewhere in like the Monterey Park/Montebello area I started filming Dave in the "confessional booth" scene. That's when something flew into my eye. I was convinced it was an ant but no one believes me. Apparently Teej thinks a bird punched me in the eye. And there's a small yet unsurfaced rumor that Boom punched me. But I guess all of them are untrue. Something flew into to my eye and my eye started crying. I thought it came out but it still felt like something was in there. Imagine what it would feel like if a toothpick was stuck in your eye. That's what it felt like.

Anywho...

We drove to AZ and my eye was in pain. I went to bed that night and I woke up with my eye the size of a golf ball. I looked like the hunchback of notre dame. Most of the poofyness was due to the non stop weeping. I couldn't look out my left eye so cossing the street was hard. I even wore a toilet paper roll around my neck because my eye would just keep crying. I made the guyssome pizzas but after that I just stayed in bed because it's amazing how much life can be drained out of you by ONE EYEBALL. So Tam decides that it's time for urgent care. I had never been to urgent care before.

This part was cool though...

So first the doctor put these numbing drops in my eye. Hurt like hell. But I didn't feel anything after that. Then he put some kind of glow in the dark stuff in my eye and he turned off the lights and put a blacklight over me. Told me to move my eye around and he found 2 scratches. One big one and one little one. So he gave me some drops to put in my eye and he put a patch on me. Now, this patch was no ordinary patch. It was about 20 gauze strips thick and was bound to my face with these huge pieces of some kind of masking tape. It was RIDICULOUS. But thankfully the only people who would see me with it on was the guys...

NOT! 24 hours of that stupid eye patch. Little kids were running behind their mommys asking what was wrong with me. I also ran into many walls at first and eating was really hard. I had a depth perception deficiency for about 5 hours. I finally got used to it though.

But by sunday it was all better. I was able to enjoy being able to see with both eyes.

I'm all better now. Good memories.