I Bet You Can Speak Japanese Better Than Me

I've been bothered lately. Bothered by Japanese. Yes, Japanese. My first language, half of my ethnic background, and the only kind of food I ate until I left for college.

I've been finding it more and more difficult to learn Japanese. Or should I say RE-learn Japanese. And I think i finally have the words to explain why.

"You may note that the potential form of ru-verbs are considerably longer than those of the u-verbs, which happen to end in the hiragana ru. There actually are shorter alternative potential forms of ru-verbs and the irregular verb kuru, which are made by adding the suffix -reru, instead of -rareru. These ra-less forms are gaining popularity, but are considered slightly substandard."

-Pg 10 from Genki 2: an intergrated course in elementary japanese

I'm sorry? Come again? Can you say that in Japanese and maybe i'll understand.

Here's another reason why Japanese is kicking my ass.

I'm sitting in Japanese class today and the teacher picks me to answer a question. What's was the question?

Ano eiga wo mite nakimashita. (I cried during that movie.)

Not really a question... but I had to reply. So I said...

Jya, mini ikutoki watashi wa tissue wo mottekimasu. (When I go watch it i'll bring tissues.)

I took a stab at it. I just said what came to my head. But I WAS WRONG! She called on another girl who said...

Mitemimasu. (I'll watch it.)

So just like that I made a fool out of myself. A fool who loves movies that make her cry. (Hey, 2 words-- Steel Magnolius.)

These things frustrate me. Japanese was my first language. But these people are getting A's and speaking the language because they are reading the book and ACTUALLY GETTING IT. I once owned a t-shirt from Japan that said "Comfor Table." This book, in my opinion, is sort of like that shirt. Just visit Engrish.com. Instead of trying to make sense, these writers are tyring to sound smart. Again, Just visit Engrish.com.

I say things because it sounds right in my head. I don't know which verbs are ru or u or irregular. Once they start training you with note cards and asking you about te-form and ta-form and potential and particles and volitional and blah blah blah... my brain gets tied up in a knot. I literally hear my brain make fart noises in class.

That's my spiel. I'll leave you with the emotion i'm feeling right now.

Falsley Accused

I've been falsely accused for something. I'm not sure why it's bothering me so much. I guess i'm learning something new about myself.

My roommates argue. A lot. It's actually pretty abnormal. It makes me feel really uncomfortable. Most of the time I walk up to my room or sit still and try not to be noticed. I try to close the door if i'm sitting in my room. I try to avoid all eye contact in those circumstances.

Last night, they came up with reasons why they were were fighting so much and one of the reasons was because "I had said that they fought a lot."

I don't see why the fighting is my fault. This really bugs me. They are the ones saying they fight. They are the ones doing the arguing. So why is it that i'm at fault? Why am I sitting in a puddle of blame.

I was really hurt last night. So now i'm just sitting in my room. Feeling sort of sick. Feeling sort of cornered. Feeling alone.

The cure for this: well, right now i'm gonna go watch He's Just Not That Into You by myself. I need a good chick flick.